Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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