So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
