apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize