Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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