I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
