At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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