i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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