just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
