This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
