Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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