so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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