And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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