Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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