we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize