Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
