dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I would ride that face into the sunset
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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