yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
