I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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