I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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