Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
