I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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