I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
