We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
