She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
