I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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