I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?