we're blogging at a bar
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She's not a foreskin expert like you
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros