So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno