i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?