Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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