Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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