She's JV to your varsity
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
