so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
