he wants to bone in the snuggie
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
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spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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