He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
