I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize