Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
