did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
