I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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