its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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