I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
