go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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