O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize