Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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