I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
