i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
