Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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