at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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