K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
