I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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