a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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