He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
