My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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