it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
