My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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