her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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