I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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