I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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