Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
