that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
