I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize