u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Too much gin, very little bucket
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
