i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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