so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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