Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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