Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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