Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
